Hawaii 1966 - It Is In My Heart
by VictoriaKeeleySmith1993
Summary: What if Jerusha had listened to all who told her to return home? What if Capt. Rafer really did convince her to return to England? A take on the movie & what I wanted the ending to be.


One Shot – Hawaii Fanfiction

What if Jerusha had listened to all who told her to return home? What if Capt. Rafer really did convince her to return to England? A take on the movie & what I wanted the ending to be

"Jerusha Bromley!"

Rafer could not believe his eyes, were they deceiving him. Was he really looking upon his beauty of whom he wrote to for two years? Was it a dream? Jerusha turned from Abner to a stunned surprise.

"Rafer!" she exclaimed as they collided into a warm embrace.

Rafer was at peace, she was alive and well. He continued to stroke her beautiful locks and swayed her from side to side. His face abruptly turned from elation to concern as he cupped her chin and looked into her eyes - piercing blue and filled with tears.

"What are you doing here? You're supposed to be in Walpole waiting for me there!"

"How, how could I have waited, you, you didn't write… I had no way of..."

Rafer interrupted her. "Write! I wrote from Cape Town, from Manila, from San Tiago, Honolulu…" As Abner looked on Rafer once again embraced Jerusha as he was still in complete shock that she was real. This was real.

"Oh Jerusha Bromley I have never seen anything so beautiful in my entire life." He professed as he lovingly took her in his arms. Abner approached intruding on their moment.

"Captain you may not behave in that manner!" He said firmly.

"Shut up, I'm speaking to Miss Bromley!"

Jerusha grabbed Rafer's arms and pleaded with him.

"Rafer I'm married…" Silence followed for a short while, Rafer was in obvious disbelief and turned to look in to Abner's eyes – fury filling them slowly.

"Married! Oh my God, not to him. What did he do _pray_ you into bed!"

Abner gripped Rafer by his shirt turning him towards him, swinging his fist around his face. However, being the rough man Rafer was he quickly recovered and backhanded Abner to the ground. Jerusha looked in terrified for her husband she tried to get to him. Rafer clutched Jerusha by the arms.

"Two years now, I've thought of nothing but you! Night and day on sea and land - nothing but you! I'm not going to let you go a second time." With that he scooped her into his arms.

Abner looked on in horror at his wife being carried by this hooligan. He picked a knife up from the floor and ran towards Rafer.

"Abner don't!" Jerusha screamed as Rafer turned and loosened his hold. The over powering of his strength took Abner to the ground and left him in a heap on the floor. Rafer was going to continue his treatment but Jerusha pleased with him.

"Oh stop it Rafer! Rafer I'm expecting! I'm with child!" she screamed as Rafer turned round in utter dismay. He kicked Abner one last time as punishment for ruining his chances with the one woman he loved. Jerusha ran to Abner's side cradling him.

"Oh go away, go away! Leave us alone!"

Rafer stared coldly at the two figures on the ground - his eyes fierce with envy.

"I wanted you more than anything on this Earth. I could have taken you by candlelight in your father's own home and you know that! May the Lord strike me dead if I ever pass up another virgin as long as I live? What a damned fool, what a God abandoned fool." He tipped his hat in disgust and turned away. Jerusha continued to cradle her beaten husband.

Abner through all of his devotion to God did love Jerusha he just had a very hard time showing it. After Micah was born through natural birth – Jerusha was ecstatic to finally become a mother. However after Abner professed his love to her _over_ God - in his eyes, he rejected her the day after leaving her heart broken. After she recovered she remained quiet and to herself. She often wondered around the town and walked alone. She always wondered what life would have been like if she had returned to England with Rafer. It was unfortunate but she always felt second best when it came to Abner and his decisions, he loved God _over_ her. She tried sometimes to explain her feelings to him but he overruled her every time stressing that God is the almighty and must be obeyed and loved - also loving anyone else would be considered a mortal sin. She still had an undying passion for Rafer, as much as she tried to deny it.

One summer evening Micah become ill, he developed flu and a high temperature – Jerusha stayed by his side changing cloths to keep him cool. Reverend Hale was busy giving a service and lesson to Malama. Jerusha was also ill with a burning temperature. However, being the woman she was, she put her child's health first and treated him. After he fell into a deep slumber from pure exhaustion Jerusha stepped outside to get some air. She sat quietly on a rock just staring into the black skies, dark – no clouds, no stars, lost in thought. She did not know it but someone was admiring her from afar. Rafer slowly appeared, not wanting to startle her. She caught a glimpse of him in the corner of her eye and stood silently. He approached her slowly gazing into her piercing blue eyes.

"You're harder to see than the empress of China. I managed to fight every inch of the way…" He strolled towards her still staring into her eyes, as she gazed back. A tear escaped and rolled down her cheek - Rafer lifted his hand to her face and wiped it with his thumb. He caressed her cheek as she amorously entered into his embrace. They swayed together, holding each other close.

"I love you Jerusha, I love you, I love you." He professed.

"There are a thousand whales running off Japan, I left them and I sailed half an ocean just for you."

He pulled her from his chest, and held her closely looking deeply into her eyes. She was dazed by his admiration and true feelings she never knew existed thanks to her father's cowardice.

"Hawaii's made a noble woman of you…no he hasn't, but he's made a damn good try." He exclaimed as he pulled her back into his grasp for another gentle hug.

"Now Jerusha I'm taking you back to New Hampshire, can you imagine Walpole in the Autumn, with the leaves beginning to turn, its first snowfall, and logs on the arch…" Jerusha pulled away from his embrace pushing him away. She covered her face with her frail hands.

"Oh don't, don't. _Please_ " She whispered.

Rafer turned to her and met her eyes.

"But who needs a fire in this godforsaken place! A piano and someone singing…Jerusha." He wrapped his arm around her and stroked her cheek with his hand.

"I'll never see Walpole again, never." She confessed

Rafer comforted her and held her closely as she sobbed into his shirt - he suddenly realized how unhappy she was.

"You will Jerusha, you'll see it with me…I don't give a damn about my immortal soul, but I do care about you. One minute with you, one hour, one DAY with you! Now pack your things!" he ordered Jerusha to pack whilst he returned to his ship to make some last minute arrangements.

"No…no, I can't just leave." She begged.

He held her arms, and then caressed her hands with his own, stroking the back of her hands with his thumbs.

"Jerusha, come and board my ship. I promise you, I won't look at you; I won't even talk to you if you do not wish. But please board my ship. I'll take you and your child straight to Honolulu where we can ship you both to Boston. He will kill you here Jerusha, you have no chance of staying alive. He _will_ kill you. Please!"

Jerusha unable to form words just silently nodded as she let the tears that were now staining her cheeks fall freely down her face.

"I…I can't just leave Rafer… I have to talk to him first. He will understand. Please… _please._ I owe him that much." She said as she was choking back tears. Rafer nodded in response.

"I'll be waiting for you Jerusha…promise me you will come…"

"I promise" She let out slight smile and returned to the hut to check on Micah as Rafer also turned to leave.

_

A short while later; Jerusha had packed her belongings and was just getting Micah ready. She was trembling with fear for some reason – and she did love Abner but could not go on living in this hell, alone and not really in a marriage. She wanted freedom but was terrified to tell him, but she knew he would not get angry or be abusive of any kind which comforted her a little. But she still had dread crawling through her stomach.

"Mommy, have you been crying?" Micah asked innocently as he observed his mother closely.

"No Darling, not at all, don't you worry everything is just fine." She reassured him as she could see he was very confused as to why they were packing clothes away.

Just as they had finished packing, Abner had returned from his session with Malama. He entered the hut and placed his hat and jacket in the closet, before going into the room, both Jerusha and Micah were stood. Jerusha felt a sudden urge and turned quickly to notice he was standing in the doorway just staring at the bags. In pure shock he couldn't even mouth words. Jerusha approached him and held his hands with her own looking into his eyes that were laced with tears that had yet to fall.

"Jerusha, have I made you _that_ unhappy?" he said innocently looking into his wife's eyes that were also holding back tears.

"No, no… I just need time to think Abner; my mind is all over the place. Maybe I am not happy here but I certainly can no stay. I beg of you to understand. Surely you can see that I need to be back home in England?"

"You are going to leave me?" he asked hoping for the opposite answer to what he predicted.

"Perhaps for a short while, I am extremely ill Abner my body cannot handle this place, you know this." She pleaded with him grasping his arms lovingly.

Abner fell to his knees.

"I have failed you! I am sorry. I failed." He expressed solemnly.

Jerusha cupped his chin to make their eyes meet.

"You have not failed your mission still is in action, you will stay here in Lahaina and become a passionate savior for these people. I will not, I cannot give no more, I am tired and ill, and would be of no use to you."

"My dear Jerusha, I have failed you. I did not show you my love and affection, which I know now I should have. I want to always protect you but feel that I need to obey God also. I am so sorry. I love you Jerusha." His arms met with hers as they collided for a hug.

"I must go, I need to go… I'm sorry I do love you, but your mission is here." She left his embrace loosening his hand as she turned away. She guided Micah to his father as they also hugged.

"I love you son, write to me won't you?

Micah was sobbing uncontrollably but worded a yes to his father.

"We must go now Micah. I love you Abner. I will _always_ love you. It _is_ in my heart." She said as she turned and exited the house. She walked slowly looking back to see him glancing at them through the doorway.

"And I love you, Mrs. Hale…"

 _A/N Sooooo this is my first Hawaii one shot. I really was upset reading the book and watching the movie to reveal that Jerusha dies so I wanted to change it up a little. Don't own anything apart from my imagination. I really liked how this turned out… I would love to know your guys ideas to the Hawaii plot and feedback! Thanks!_


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